Sooner or later you will face objections while selling your swag. Sometimes you just can’t get around them, but if you’ve targeted the right prospects, most are avoidable. If handled well, objections can be an opportunity to provide comfort and erase doubts. But let’s start with an example of what not to do when an objection arises.

Fifteen minutes into her tour of the nearby co-working space Hipster Hot-Deskers, Sunita was getting a great vibe – the location was convenient, it boasted a great network of like-minded people and they offered free printing! The only niggle was the light; it was a bit dark. Would it be depressing? Another source of procrastination? That was the last thing she needed as she completed the final stages of her first book.

“What do you think?” asked the tour guide.

“It’s all very nice…but it’s a bit dark down here. That could affect my productivity, making it pointless to come here.”

“Oh, yes. It is a bit dark and dingy, isn’t it?”

With that, Sunita left to give it more thought. In the end, she never returned to Hipster Hot-deskers.

What happened? Did that anecdote sound familiar? Did Sunita’s objection seem insurmountable? If so, let me show you a 4-step process to overcoming objections using F-words.

1. Check yourself before you wreck yourself

When someone rejects your service or product, there is a tendency to take it personally. You might become defensive. At this point, two things could happen: 1) the emotional part of your brain gets triggered, causing reactions from a place of desperation such as pitching and pushing, which ultimately repels prospects; or 2) your confidence nosedives, which also repels prospects.

You can short-circuit your brain’s emotional response with the first F, your FRAME of mind. Arrange your frame of mind not on your need to close a sale, but on your purpose, to help your prospect have an easier or richer life. Instead of letting your brain take over, pause and ask yourself, “how can I help them understand the benefits they’ll enjoy?”

2. Do you hear me hearing you?

A fundamental human need is the desire to be understood, to be validated, so when handling objections, it’s critical to begin by validating your prospect’s concerns. By doing so, you’re acknowledging your customer’s feelings, making them feel understood. Using the word feel, the tour guide in the example at the beginning could provide validation by saying:

Am I understanding you correctly, you FEEL it’s a little dark down here?

Repeating what they said shows you’ve heard and understood them. It may seem awkward at first but it’s important to use their words. You demonstrate empathy. This is a small but effective way of building trust.

3. Tell them they’re not crazy

According to a study by UCL’s Institute of Neurology, humans get more stress from uncertainty than from pain, so our brains look for cues to reduce risk and uncertainty. Following the crowd is one way our brain achieves risk aversion, according to persuasion maestro Robert Cialdini.

In this next step, you want to let the prospect know that what they’re experiencing is not unusual, using the powerful “social proof” persuasion principle. You can achieve this by articulating how other happy or current customers initially felt the same way:

We have some members working on books or long documents. At first, they FELT the same as you.

Mentioning another happy customer reduces perceived risk by calming the emotional, fear-driven part of the brain.

4. Tell them everything will be okay

The final step is to explain the bounties the prospect will enjoy after committing to or purchasing your product. Remind them of the benefits by using the fourth F, found:

However, after investing in membership, those members FOUND it easy to adjust to the light and ultimately FOUND it easier to concentrate with fewer distractions.

Remember to focus on an outcome your customers care about. Talking about great coffee or free printing when the issue is a light source will have little impact. You could also demonstrate authority, another powerful persuasion principle, by quoting research from reputable sources. Here’s an example for an app:

A Journal of Engineering study FOUND this new system increased output by up to 28%, which is faster then current versions, and our clients are already producing more as a result.

Take 2: Hipster Hot-Deskers

“It’s all very nice…but it’s a bit dark down here. That could affect my productivity, making it pointless to come here.”

“So you like it but, if I’m understanding you correctly, you FEEL it’s a little dark down here?”

“Yes, it’s a bit dark, I’m concerned it might affect my productivity while writing my book. I really need to focus.”

“I see. We’ve got two authors who are members, one writing fiction, the other, non-fiction, and they FELT the same way as you, thinking it was too dark…”

“But after joining they FOUND when you come from a space with lots of windows and light, it feels darker at first, but your eyes adjust. And they also FOUND it peaceful down here, with fewer distractions, helping them get more done.”

“Oh, okay. That’s good to know.”

One more time…overcoming objections using the F words

Frame of mind: Avoid going into pushy salesperson mode. Remember to adjust your Frame of mind; think about how you can help the customer enjoy a better life.

Feel: Let your prospect feel understood and validated.

Felt: Reduce perceived risk by showing the prospect they’re not alone.

Found: Describe the positive outcomes they’ll achieve after moving forward.

Take the steering wheel

Pick one objection you typically get and work it through the F-word system below.

Am I understanding you correctly, you feel it’s __[objection in prospect’s words]__?

At first  __[similar customer x]__ felt the same as you.

However, after  __[buying product x / using service y / taking a subscription etc.]__ they found  __[positive outcome your customers care about]__.

Writing it down and practising amplifies your recall. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself two weeks from now facing an objection and falling back into an auto-pilot mode that repels customers.

If you found value in this, it would mean a lot to me if you could please share this article with friends and colleagues so we can help more people thrive.